From the desk of Ella

My smile hides the pain that I feel. Sometimes I think that my life is so unreal. Constant arguing, constant bickering, can I just have five minutes to digest my day? That's when I fall on my knees and pray. Is it wrong to want to live life with peace and love? That’s when I look above. He shows me unconditional love. He provides peace and strength to make it through the day. Just when you think that you cannot go on any longer, HE makes you take a step of faith to show you that you can do it. Once you believe that you can do it, the battle is over. It is all about you believing that He can bring you through it.

As I was deciding on what to write this morning, I saw the quote below posted by Joel Osteen on his Facebook page. “God has already prepared the opportunities you need. Don't accept defeat, depression or lack. Supernatural promotion and increase will seek you out. Just keep honoring God and blessing others.” This is just what I needed to give me encouragement today. The girls and I helped a ministry distributed fresh produce and juice to about 100 families this weekend. Never did I imagine that taking a few hours out of my weekend to help bless someone else would bring so much joy. Not only did it bring us joy, the girls want to do the same thing in our own neighborhood. They made sure that they packed a bag of produce and juice for a friend of theirs. This surprised me very much and made me smile. Just because one person has the opinion that you cannot do a specific job, don’t let that get you down or keep you down. Yes, we get knocked down every now and then, but how you ha

Today was an interesting day.  I have been pretty speechless because of Encounter Release last night at Without Walls in Lakeland with Pastors Clint Brown and Paula White.  What I have realized about the release we have been experiencing has caused me to re-evaluate some things within my life.  A few years ago at the Judah Conference someone was telling me about the general session, and what I realized at that very moment is that I was making sacrifices that I should not have been making and that God did not want me to make.  I knew then what I needed to do, but I dealt with the situation for a few more months until I finally said BASTA!  Enough was enough. I have had to say it again.  Enough is enough.  The peace that I have found is now my focus.  I have decided to work towards keeping the peace in my life and to continue to enjoy the things that I have loved and have learned to love.  In high school, I really hated PE and now I am at the point where I enjoy going to work out.  I h

Today was a challenging day. I haven’t slept much since leaving the hospital last week. What I have realized is that even though my situation has changed, God opened my eyes to show me that I was somewhere that I did not need to be. When you wake up and realize that you are sacrificing too much of yourself for a job, a relationship, is this something that you want to spend your life doing? As a single parent, I am already making sacrifices on a daily basis, why should I have to sacrifice so much more of myself for a paycheck? Is it really worth it? When it is all said and done, I realized that enough is enough. I am so thankful to God for this door closing in my life because it showed me that there is something better. I have no idea what my future holds, but guess what? I am so ready for it. I have had the opportunity to remove all of the issues from my past that have been holding me back. I have decided that what is ahead of me is better than what I had in the past. My encourage

I am going to start blogging on a daily basis now that I have more free time on my hands.  I am not going to sit home and cry about what has happened to me, I am going to make sure that I stay active and keep my mind from being occupied on the negative.  My choice is to keep my mind clear so that God can pour into me.  I am ready to be an open vessel for HIM.  This is something that I wrote yesterday as a follow-up to my blog about failure not being an option.  It is all a matter of how you handle those set backs on how you set up your future.  Life events are the things that can lead a person to be depressed. How you handle those life events is the determining factor if the depression overtakes your life. Depression is defined as a state of feeling sad. Another definition is a reduction in activity. To overcome depression, something that you can do is to increase your activity. Find the things that bring you joy and find ways to incorporate them into your life. Taking a walk aroun

I know this may sound cliché but the statement applies for me. Depression seems to creep up on people when they suffer the loss of a relationship, job, loved one, but whatever it is remember that even though weeping may endure for a night, but JOY comes in the morning. In allowing depression to settle in your spirit, you begin to think that you are a failure. Failure is defined as a state or inability to perform a function. Everyone has bad days and stuff happens. However, just because one person may think that you are a failure, you do not have to let that fester within your spirit.  One man’s thoughts should not stop you from reaching what God has destined for you. 2 Timothy 1:7 says “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.”  What that means to me is that whatever you are going through should not be allowed to take over your mind. I know every day life may seem a bit scary with an uncertain future, but God doesn’t want us to liv

This is different than the one that I was going to post a few months ago, but because of the RELEASE we have been going through at Faithworld and at Without Walls Lakeland, I had to modify this to share with others that may have the same struggle.  Out of privacy to the two little ladies in my life, I won't go into too much detail, but I can say that the STRUGGLE IS OVER! As posted on my Facebook page, here it is... Here I am awakened at 2 am by a sore foot... I have to make a confession that I have an addiction... Um, not going to tell you what it is because you don't need to know. However, I will draw your attention to the fact from the day that I made a declaration that this addition would not overtake my life again it has been a struggle. It is a very private struggle that only my twin (Zan) knows about. Since Pastor Paula White spoke last Sunday, there have been moments when it would have been easy to be drawn back into it but God has shown me other ways to remove the

It dawned on me today that some people have recognized that I look totally different and want to ask. So, for those that did not know how to ask, let me clear this up. I am one of many people that have keloid scars. The medical definition of a keloid scar is:  Keloids are the excess growth of scar tissue at the site of a healed skin injury. In my family there were a few that had/have keloid scars. It was never determined why mine grew at such great lengths. The only conclusion that I have been able to draw is that I am allergic to milk. I am sure that may sound surprising but with the amount of hours that I have spent researching scars I have found that acne can cause keloid scarring. That was the only thing that made sense to me. My physicians I have never gone into the extent to do some major resarching and extensive lab work because I can handle the ones that are on my chest, shoulders, and my back. I have had some serious pain from these scars, but since relocating to Orlando the

Over a year ago, I made a personal choice to stop settling for less than I deserved. I was working a job that required me to travel 45 minutes both ways. I loved my job and what I was doing, but one day I woke up and realized that I was settling just because I needed a job. I chose to start looking at postings for places that were closer to home. Now that I have changed jobs and getting acclimated to the environment and people, I realized that my past has prepared me for this level. As long as you know that you have been prepared for the new level, just walk in it.  Do not let someone make you second guess why you are there.  God knows that you are ready for it and HE sure will not give you more than you can handle. Just continue to PRAISE HIM for your new level. For me, it started with a choice that what I was doing was not enough.  There had to be more to life than working the job I had at the time. I went and enrolled in a certificate program to enhance my clerical skills. It was

For the past few years I have had some anxiety about Valentine's Day. All of the advertising and marketing is meant for couples...well that didn't apply to me and I really didn't even want to hear about it. I wouldn't even go down the aisle with all of the candy, balloons, etc.  Friday night, there was a Sweetheart Banquet at my church and I volunteered to work the event.  I served as check-in and t-shirt/dvd sales. It was great to see all of the couples as they walked in the door to see how they were dressed.  Some couples coordinated their outfits and it was so cute. Every girl is crazy about a sharp dressed man and it was good to see them all dressed up in their suits and ties.  As they were getting their pictures taken, I was thinking to myself, how in the world am I going to survive being surrounded by all of these happy people when inside my heart is longing for someone to share my life with. I know that I am a complete person and don't need a man to complet