From the desk of Ella

So long and farewell to the Sunshine State.  This journey started over eight years ago and I am a changed person because of the people that I have met and befriended. Some have made a lifelong impact in my life and some were in my life for just a season. I do appreciate all that I have learned during this journey. There comes a time when you have to identify that God has closed doors for you and it is time to get out of your comfort zone and make a change. I believe that this is the case for me. God had to isolate me from the things I was experiencing in order to overcome and to be delivered from some things. I said goodbye to the antidepressants, cigarettes, alcohol and to the randoms that were in my life. I had to welcome a stronger relationship with Christ and increased study time. This has allowed me to become a better parent and an all around better person. I know that once I am settled that God will open the right doors for me and I look forward to finding a church home. Most

Today is a day where I have an expectation of great things.  I haven't been writing much lately and I have to schedule time every day to write.  Yes, it is therapy for me because there is a lot in my head that I have to share. I pray that someone is encouraged from the journey that I am walking through.  This past Sunday my Pastor showed a picture of the top model in the world and very disturbing because this is what other women are using as a model on how we should look. Why are we allowing society to dictate what is beautiful?  Well, this photo made me think of all that I have been through in my life and what has lead me to gain weight and why I am battling with weight loss at my age. Do you realize what someone goes through when they have been raped, molested, emotionally abused, physically abused, etc? You cannot realize what someone goes through unless you are a victim too. The main thing is that this is all inward. Thoughts of what did I do wrong, what could I have done to

I haven't been able to write anything for quite some time now. What I have forgotten is that writing was my "therapy" and helped me to release my thoughts instead of keeping them all bottled up.  It is hard to try and keep a smile on your face on a daily basis when you feel like your life is in shambles.  That's what happens when you take a risk in life. Sometimes it just doesn't pan out.  Instead of taking one person's opinions to heart, I took a look inward and said, "what could I have done differently?"  I know that the talents God blessed me with man cannot take them away from me. So, I really took the time to focus on the things that were in front of me that needed my attention. What I have learned to value more is my relationship with God and my children.  I have always been the type of person who likes to be in control of certain things and through this time I have had to learn to be patient and let God take control of the things that I rea