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Faith

I haven't been able to write anything for quite some time now. What I have forgotten is that writing was my "therapy" and helped me to release my thoughts instead of keeping them all bottled up.  It is hard to try and keep a smile on your face on a daily basis when you feel like your life is in shambles.  That's what happens when you take a risk in life. Sometimes it just doesn't pan out.  Instead of taking one person's opinions to heart, I took a look inward and said, "what could I have done differently?"  I know that the talents God blessed me with man cannot take them away from me. So, I really took the time to focus on the things that were in front of me that needed my attention. What I have learned to value more is my relationship with God and my children. 


I have always been the type of person who likes to be in control of certain things and through this time I have had to learn to be patient and let God take control of the things that I really should not try to control. That has been the hardest thing in the world to do, but its still a work in progress. 


I have also had to learn that it wasn't about the people in my life who could help me through this rough time, but more that I needed to put my Trust in God who would see me through this.  It hasn't been easy at all, but I have learned a lot through this journey. Am I a different person having gone through every thing I have dealt with in the past year, YES! Have I learned to see the positive instead of seeing the negative, you better believe it. I can admit that through it all, I have had to learn to have more faith in myself and more faith in God.  I can say this because there was a particular day in question and I was very sleep deprived and I had several things to accomplish in a short amount of time and I received some bad news as I was driving. As I was headed towards my first destination I cried out to God how much more can I take.  Well, God showed me right then that it wasn't about how much more I could handle, but that I needed to have the faith in myself that I could handle it all because He would not give me more than I could handle. Since that day I just smile and say that I know I can handle it all because God has the faith in me and I just need to have faith in me too. 


So, being the impatient person that I was and wanted everything to always go my way, has learned to let it all go and let God handle the things that I cannot control.  Do I have my moments, yes, but I am still a work in progress!


God Bless

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