From the desk of Ella

So long and farewell to the Sunshine State.  This journey started over eight years ago and I am a changed person because of the people that I have met and befriended. Some have made a lifelong impact in my life and some were in my life for just a season. I do appreciate all that I have learned during this journey. There comes a time when you have to identify that God has closed doors for you and it is time to get out of your comfort zone and make a change. I believe that this is the case for me. God had to isolate me from the things I was experiencing in order to overcome and to be delivered from some things. I said goodbye to the antidepressants, cigarettes, alcohol and to the randoms that were in my life. I had to welcome a stronger relationship with Christ and increased study time. This has allowed me to become a better parent and an all around better person. I know that once I am settled that God will open the right doors for me and I look forward to finding a church home. ...

Today is a day where I have an expectation of great things.  I haven't been writing much lately and I have to schedule time every day to write.  Yes, it is therapy for me because there is a lot in my head that I have to share. I pray that someone is encouraged from the journey that I am walking through.  This past Sunday my Pastor showed a picture of the top model in the world and very disturbing because this is what other women are using as a model on how we should look. Why are we allowing society to dictate what is beautiful?  Well, this photo made me think of all that I have been through in my life and what has lead me to gain weight and why I am battling with weight loss at my age. Do you realize what someone goes through when they have been raped, molested, emotionally abused, physically abused, etc? You cannot realize what someone goes through unless you are a victim too. The main thing is that this is all inward. Thoughts of what did I do wrong, what could...

I haven't been able to write anything for quite some time now. What I have forgotten is that writing was my "therapy" and helped me to release my thoughts instead of keeping them all bottled up.  It is hard to try and keep a smile on your face on a daily basis when you feel like your life is in shambles.  That's what happens when you take a risk in life. Sometimes it just doesn't pan out.  Instead of taking one person's opinions to heart, I took a look inward and said, "what could I have done differently?"  I know that the talents God blessed me with man cannot take them away from me. So, I really took the time to focus on the things that were in front of me that needed my attention. What I have learned to value more is my relationship with God and my children.  I have always been the type of person who likes to be in control of certain things and through this time I have had to learn to be patient and let God take control of the things that I rea...

My smile hides the pain that I feel. Sometimes I think that my life is so unreal. Constant arguing, constant bickering, can I just have five minutes to digest my day? That's when I fall on my knees and pray. Is it wrong to want to live life with peace and love? That’s when I look above. He shows me unconditional love. He provides peace and strength to make it through the day. Just when you think that you cannot go on any longer, HE makes you take a step of faith to show you that you can do it. Once you believe that you can do it, the battle is over. It is all about you believing that He can bring you through it.

As I was deciding on what to write this morning, I saw the quote below posted by Joel Osteen on his Facebook page. “God has already prepared the opportunities you need. Don't accept defeat, depression or lack. Supernatural promotion and increase will seek you out. Just keep honoring God and blessing others.” This is just what I needed to give me encouragement today. The girls and I helped a ministry distributed fresh produce and juice to about 100 families this weekend. Never did I imagine that taking a few hours out of my weekend to help bless someone else would bring so much joy. Not only did it bring us joy, the girls want to do the same thing in our own neighborhood. They made sure that they packed a bag of produce and juice for a friend of theirs. This surprised me very much and made me smile. Just because one person has the opinion that you cannot do a specific job, don’t let that get you down or keep you down. Yes, we get knocked down every now and then, but how you ha...

Today was an interesting day.  I have been pretty speechless because of Encounter Release last night at Without Walls in Lakeland with Pastors Clint Brown and Paula White.  What I have realized about the release we have been experiencing has caused me to re-evaluate some things within my life.  A few years ago at the Judah Conference someone was telling me about the general session, and what I realized at that very moment is that I was making sacrifices that I should not have been making and that God did not want me to make.  I knew then what I needed to do, but I dealt with the situation for a few more months until I finally said BASTA!  Enough was enough. I have had to say it again.  Enough is enough.  The peace that I have found is now my focus.  I have decided to work towards keeping the peace in my life and to continue to enjoy the things that I have loved and have learned to love.  In high school, I really hated PE and now I...

Today was a challenging day. I haven’t slept much since leaving the hospital last week. What I have realized is that even though my situation has changed, God opened my eyes to show me that I was somewhere that I did not need to be. When you wake up and realize that you are sacrificing too much of yourself for a job, a relationship, is this something that you want to spend your life doing? As a single parent, I am already making sacrifices on a daily basis, why should I have to sacrifice so much more of myself for a paycheck? Is it really worth it? When it is all said and done, I realized that enough is enough. I am so thankful to God for this door closing in my life because it showed me that there is something better. I have no idea what my future holds, but guess what? I am so ready for it. I have had the opportunity to remove all of the issues from my past that have been holding me back. I have decided that what is ahead of me is better than what I had in the past. My encourage...