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My Keloid Surgeries

Since I was about 14 or 15 I have had multiple surgeries to remove my keloids. They have not been easy surgeries and the recovery has been just as painful. In my recent post, I shared that I had to have a local anesthetic which was administered around each scar and when it wore off, the doctor had to stop the surgery just to administer more anesthesia. After the surgery, my chest was open and looked like a bowl of mashed potatoes is what was said. The aftercare was to keep the open wound clean with hydrogen peroxide. I did not manage very well and in my first after surgery appointment, the doc sat me in the chair, put gauze on my chest and just started pouring the hydrogen peroxide to clean the wound. Still to this day, I am unable to handle the sound and smell of peroxide.  My next surgery was on my face and a scar on my right shoulder. It was on the bra line and the health insurance company approved that part of the surgery but the doctor covered any related costs to remove the o
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My Keloid Journey

My keloid scars have been a part of my life since I was about five years old. My earring got caught in a boy's sweater and he moved and yanked it right out. As I got older, more scars developed and never knew why or the cause. My childhood with scars was not an easy one because I looked so different than the other kids and they were not very nice to me. Middle school was rough because of PE... OMG, the girls were brutal and that made me very uncomfortable about changing clothes in front of other people. It did not make it easy to help the battle of the fluff. LOL! It was easier to cover them up. I cannot recall the exact time frame, but I recall two doctor's appointments. One was at Lackland AFB and the doctors did not know what my keloids were and wanted to do a biopsy. My dad did not like what he heard and scheduled another appointment with a dermatologist at Fort Sam. The treatment was to inject the scars and that was very painful. My dad could not see me going through t

Farewell to Florida

So long and farewell to the Sunshine State.  This journey started over eight years ago and I am a changed person because of the people that I have met and befriended. Some have made a lifelong impact in my life and some were in my life for just a season. I do appreciate all that I have learned during this journey. There comes a time when you have to identify that God has closed doors for you and it is time to get out of your comfort zone and make a change. I believe that this is the case for me. God had to isolate me from the things I was experiencing in order to overcome and to be delivered from some things. I said goodbye to the antidepressants, cigarettes, alcohol and to the randoms that were in my life. I had to welcome a stronger relationship with Christ and increased study time. This has allowed me to become a better parent and an all around better person. I know that once I am settled that God will open the right doors for me and I look forward to finding a church home. Most

Things on my mind...

Today is a day where I have an expectation of great things.  I haven't been writing much lately and I have to schedule time every day to write.  Yes, it is therapy for me because there is a lot in my head that I have to share. I pray that someone is encouraged from the journey that I am walking through.  This past Sunday my Pastor showed a picture of the top model in the world and very disturbing because this is what other women are using as a model on how we should look. Why are we allowing society to dictate what is beautiful?  Well, this photo made me think of all that I have been through in my life and what has lead me to gain weight and why I am battling with weight loss at my age. Do you realize what someone goes through when they have been raped, molested, emotionally abused, physically abused, etc? You cannot realize what someone goes through unless you are a victim too. The main thing is that this is all inward. Thoughts of what did I do wrong, what could I have done to

Faith

I haven't been able to write anything for quite some time now. What I have forgotten is that writing was my "therapy" and helped me to release my thoughts instead of keeping them all bottled up.  It is hard to try and keep a smile on your face on a daily basis when you feel like your life is in shambles.  That's what happens when you take a risk in life. Sometimes it just doesn't pan out.  Instead of taking one person's opinions to heart, I took a look inward and said, "what could I have done differently?"  I know that the talents God blessed me with man cannot take them away from me. So, I really took the time to focus on the things that were in front of me that needed my attention. What I have learned to value more is my relationship with God and my children.  I have always been the type of person who likes to be in control of certain things and through this time I have had to learn to be patient and let God take control of the things that I rea

A Smile

My smile hides the pain that I feel. Sometimes I think that my life is so unreal. Constant arguing, constant bickering, can I just have five minutes to digest my day? That's when I fall on my knees and pray. Is it wrong to want to live life with peace and love? That’s when I look above. He shows me unconditional love. He provides peace and strength to make it through the day. Just when you think that you cannot go on any longer, HE makes you take a step of faith to show you that you can do it. Once you believe that you can do it, the battle is over. It is all about you believing that He can bring you through it.

Stay Encouraged

As I was deciding on what to write this morning, I saw the quote below posted by Joel Osteen on his Facebook page. “God has already prepared the opportunities you need. Don't accept defeat, depression or lack. Supernatural promotion and increase will seek you out. Just keep honoring God and blessing others.” This is just what I needed to give me encouragement today. The girls and I helped a ministry distributed fresh produce and juice to about 100 families this weekend. Never did I imagine that taking a few hours out of my weekend to help bless someone else would bring so much joy. Not only did it bring us joy, the girls want to do the same thing in our own neighborhood. They made sure that they packed a bag of produce and juice for a friend of theirs. This surprised me very much and made me smile. Just because one person has the opinion that you cannot do a specific job, don’t let that get you down or keep you down. Yes, we get knocked down every now and then, but how you ha